Hello! It’s been quite a while since I last wrote a blog post. Or, let’s say, it’s been quite a while since I actually published a blog post that I’ve written; over the past two months, I’ve probably started over ten posts which I just haven’t had the words to finish. I guess that’s what happens, ironically, when you’re blogging about Mental Health whilst still struggling with it yourself!
To a stranger looking in, the past two months have been fairly successful. I spent the majority with a host-family in Madrid where I worked as an au-pair for three toddlers. Since then, I’ve returned home and have found a new, part-time job to keep me occupied whilst I start the search for my next adventure abroad. So all in all, it’s been fairly productive. However, I have simultaneously been trudging (imagine thick, knee-deep mud) along and trying to fight back against another mental health relapse.
Don’t get me wrong, being in Spain was a fantastic experience in the sense that I feel like my language skills were definitely put to good use and I, outwardly at least, managed to cope with living in a pretty intense environment with people I didn’t know. I also visited several beautiful parts of Spain, taught three toddlers their first words in English and checked two of the four compulsory months off my Year Abroad itinerary. Success! Having said all that though, I’m not sure that being abroad did my mental health many favours.
It’s very hard to prioritise your own health. It’s even harder to prioritise your own health when, A.) it makes you feel guilty for doing so and, B.) when others can’t see it. The fact that you can be functioning well – going to work, meeting up with friends, eating well, sleeping well, laughing and smiling – yet still struggling, makes speaking out about it very difficult as it appears to be contradictory.
But that’s the reality when you live with a high-functioning mental illness.
Anyway, now I’m home and somewhat more settled, I hope to be back to more regular posts and updates and so, as always, if you would like me to write about anything specific or have any questions, please do let me know!